June 21, 2009 - I miss you, Dad!

I got off work at 1 PM, and rushed home to change clothes and drive over the mountain to have a joint Father's Day celebration and 4th birthday party for my youngest son at my mom's house.  I hadn't seen my kids since Thursday, so I was pretty anxious to see them.  As I was getting dressed, I pulled out one of my father's old t-shirts to wear.  My father died in a car accident on May 28, 2005, three weeks before my youngest son was born.  I wasn't ready for him to go - he was only 63 years old, and we were in the midst of reconnecting and getting to know one another again after some challenging years when my parents divorced.  At least I had the foresight, through my grief, to ask for his clothing.  There wasn't much, but I was able to find two t-shirts, one long sleeved and one short sleeved, that weren't too terribly big on me and that were in decent shape that I kept to wear on days like today.  The rest of the t-shirts, I cut apart to make a memory quilt for me and my family.  I completed it a year and a half ago, and presented it to my mother for Christmas - even though they had divorced and both remarried, they remained best of friends.  The plan was to allow the quilt to rotate among members of the family - we are so widespread - so that we all have a chance to use it and honor him.   It hasn't made it back to me yet, but my turn will come soon.  For today, I was happy just to wear his shirt.  I couldn't help but laugh when I arrived at my mother's and realized she was unwittingly wearing a pair of his old athletic shorts.  His spirit is with us still today, I believe.

Once at my mother's, we had a great time with tacos and cake and ice cream and presents and badminton. 

Seeing my brother on Father's Day, though, is a surreal experience for me.  He doesn't really look like my father, but his mannerisms, his walk, his gestures, his laugh, they are identical.  It is like seeing a 30 year old version of my father, and I spent a lot of time today choking back tears.  I miss you, Dad.  Happy Father's Day!

June 21, 2009 - <i>Untitled Comment</i>

June 22, 2009 - Untitled Comment

June 22, 2009 - Untitled Comment

June 22, 2009 - Untitled Comment